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Randomize humor

I was wondering if anyone else is having a problem with the Carbon Based Unit, Model # Homo Sapiens.

The following is a list of constant problems:

- A constant whining whenever the brain disengages after debating the virtues of the automobile selection process

- Overheats when the air/gray matter ratio exceeds rational equilibrium in regard to ones own responsibility to auto maintenance

- When mouth is placed in gear, makes loud noise whilst insulting the the auto professional. (see previous item)

- Software controlling the "computer" is defective..wild random responses to input stimuli (i.e. "Have you checked the oil..?")

- Motor controls are sluggish (i.e. response to traffic light stimuli and expected law abiding response)

- Mouth continues to run long after brain has shut off

- Touts superior performance, but functions do not perform as advertised

- Lifetime warranty is a misnomer. Cannot get problems fixed under any policy

- Model not eligible for trade in or replacement under Lemon Law

I have attempted to contact the manufacturer of this model regarding these issues, but I have received no response. I can only assume that this creator does not stand by the product in question.

Therefore, I am directing my attorney to file a Class Action suit on behalf of myself and my family. The basis for this suit is that the manufacturer did knowingly produce a defective product.

Interested parties make contact my attorney:

U. B. Taken
1-800-Get-Away

or write:

7734 Geton Withit Ave.
Getalife, Hades 12345-678

Humor of the day

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.