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Randomize humor

One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington''s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked -

"George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.
"Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom.

Clinton didn''t sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows.
It was Abraham Lincoln''s ghost.

"Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.

And Abe replied..."Go to the theater!"


Humor of the day

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.