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Randomize humor
What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
What''s the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
What''s the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
How are men like noodles?
They''re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.
What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Why are men and spray paint alike?
One squeeze and they''re all over you.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you''re not quite sure why.
Why is food better than men?
Because you don''t have to wait an hour for seconds.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Why are women so bad at mathematics?
Because men keep telling them that this |<----------------------| is 12 inches.
Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first.
What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
Slow.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, men will screw anything.
Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So oxygen can get to their brains.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don''t turn into men when they drink.
What do ceramic tile and men have in common?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!
Humor of the day
181.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
182.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
183.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave at her.
184.
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.
185.
Q: How do you check a blonde''s IQ?
A: With a tire gauge.
186.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
187.
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"
188.
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don''t have to worry about blowing their brains out.
189.
Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ?
A1: So they don''t shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don''t moo.
190.
Q: Why aren''t BLONDES good cattle herders?
A: Because the can''t even keep two calves together!
191.
Q: Why don''t blonds breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.
192.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.
193.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
194.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
195.
Q: What''s a blonds'' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
196.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde''s eyes?
A: The back of her head.
197.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW''s
A: Because they can''t spell PORSCHE!!
198.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !
199.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
200.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they''re on the train they can tell if they''re going to work or coming home.