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Randomize humor
Q: Why does Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
A: Her dog is blind also.
Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard?
A: Neither did she.
Q: Why could Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand?
A: She needed the other hand to moan.
Q: What happened when Helen Keller fell down the well?
A: She screamed her hands off!
You''ve seen the Helen Keller doll?
Wind it up, and it walks into a wall.
Ever wonder how Helen Keller could tell the difference between the men''s room and the ladies room?
She feels her way around.
Q: How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
A: Answering the iron.
Q: How did she burn her other ear?
A: They called back.
Q: Why did Helen Keller''s dog run away?
A: You''d run away too if your name was Yeeaawwoaw.
(make strange noise)
Why did Helen wear skin-tight pants?
So her friends could read her lips.
How did Helen Keller break her hand?
Trying to read the stop sign at 50 mph.
HOW DID HELEN KELLER BURN HER FACE?
ANSWER: BOBBING FOR FRENCH FRIES!
How did Helen Keller drive her car?
One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.
How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date!
What''s Helen Keller''s idea of oral sex?
A Manicure.
How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler.
What was Helen Keller''s favorite color?
Velcro.
Why didn''t Helen Keller scream when she fell down the stairs?
She was wearing gloves.
What was Helen Keller''s speech impediment?
Calluses.
How did Helen Keller''s teachers punish her for talking in class?
They made her wear mittens.
Why didn''t Helen Keller change her baby''s diaper?
So she could always find him.
Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?
From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear.
How did Helen Keller go crazy?
Trying to read the stucco walls.
How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?
She shouted hysterically.
Why did Helen Keller stop skydiving?
It was hell on the seeing eye dog!
What goes ("CLICK" is that it? "CLICK" is that it? "CLICK" is that it?)?
Hellen Keller working the rubix cube.
Seen Stevie Wonder''s new video?
He hasn''t either.
Humor of the day
Q: What is every blonde''s ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I''m "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I''m drunk!"
Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!
Q: Why can''t blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don''t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A2: So that when they''re on the train they can tell if they''re going to work or coming home.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that''s where you''re supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby''s diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.