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Randomize humor
10 Words That Don''t Exist, But Should:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt'') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ''remove'' all the germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon'' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak'' to man guy lay'' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ''illegal'' side.
7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay'') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
8 PHONESIA (fo nee'' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup''kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay'' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you''re only six inches away.
Humor of the day
Q: What is every blonde''s ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I''m "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I''m drunk!"
Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!
Q: Why can''t blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don''t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A2: So that when they''re on the train they can tell if they''re going to work or coming home.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that''s where you''re supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby''s diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.