TopSitesList

the best top sites list web directory

• Top Sites
• World
• Lietuvių
• Kompiuteriai_ir_Internetas
• Saugumas

Do You Know?

Wikipedia say: Topsites are sites with a ranked listing of different websites, generally related by an overall subject. In many cases a topsite is a directory of related web sites which ranks the listed sites by popularity. Topsite rankings are user generated, usually through voting by visitors (clicks in to the topsite) from member sites or by counting pageviews. Most topsites have an anti-cheat protection system and some display traffic statistics, user ratings, and reviews. Topsites often list a top 50 or top 100 most popular sites with a similar topic. They can be a significant source of free targeted traffic for member sites if that topsite becomes popular. After several early search engines failed, some people thought topsites might replace them.

Randomize humor

You''re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what and we''ll get back you-know-when.

Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we''ll have an asshole return your call as soon as possible.

I''m only here in spirit at the moment, but if you''ll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I''m here in person.

HI. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we''re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can''t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren''t at home and it''s safe to leave us a message.

I can''t come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I''m at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I''m doing this NOW, while you''re listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it''s NOW, like, when you''re listening to it...I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

Hi, I''m sorry I can''t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

"Hi. Now you say something."

"Hi, I''m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren''t in, leave a message." That''s why I''ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...

You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don''t return your call, it means the machine did not work.

Hi! Jan''s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I''ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don''t need their picture taken. If you''re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I''ll be right with you.

I can''t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don''t remember. I''d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

I can''t come to the phone right now because I''m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

Hi. I''m probably home, I''m just avoiding someone I don''t like. Leave me a message, and if I don''t call back, it''s you.

Hi. I''m home right now, I''m just screening my calls. So start talking and if you''re someone I want to speak with I''ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

This is Dan Cassidy''s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I''ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.

Hello, this is Susan. I don''t live here, so if you were trying to call me, you''ve dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don''t guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won''t.

Hi, This is Mike. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I''ll get back to you at the sound of the tone.

We''re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

I don''t exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I''ll call you back when I am...

HI! Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to... I mean, do FOR you.

Humor of the day

Q: What is every blonde''s ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I''m "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I''m drunk!"

Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!

Q: Why can''t blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.

Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don''t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A2: So that when they''re on the train they can tell if they''re going to work or coming home.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that''s where you''re supposed to wash vegetables.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby''s diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.