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Randomize humor
1. I can''t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn''t realize my radar detector wasn''t plugged in.
3. Aren''t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must''ve been doin'' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!!
5. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8. Bad cop! No Donut!
9. You''re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
10. Didn''t I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops"?
11. You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend''s nightstand.
12. I pay your salary!
13. So, duhhhh, you on the take, or what?
14. Gee, Officer! That''s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too.
15. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
16. I was trying to keep up with the other traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that''s how far ahead of me they are.
17. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You''re the trained observer!
Humor of the day
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.