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Top Sites » World » Japanese » ビジネス » 起業・SOHO »
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» Site title: 中小企業基盤整備機構
» Site description: ベンチャー・中小企業の経営や人材育成の支援を行う独立行政法人。事業概要。
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» Site title: 日本エンジェルズ・フォーラム
» Site description: ベンチャー起業家と投資家の交流をはかる団体。概要や活動紹介。
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» Site title: 日経ベンチャー
» Site description: 日経BPによる起業家・中小企業経営者向け情報誌。最新版目次と営業案内。
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Randomize humor
How to Tell if You''re a Grinch
This is a set of essential personality tests to prepare you misfit readers for Christmas and your New Year''s resolutions:
1. You reuse last year''s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points). (I had some ex-cousins that actually did this - Buddy''s cousins. They sent yours back the next year with your name scratched out and theirs in its place. . .the only new cards they sent were if you had a pet! They also hung their Xmas tree upside down from the ceiling. . .after it was spray painted Black!!)
2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor''s outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor''s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).
3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).
4. You put out last year''s stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale''s or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).
6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).
8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car).
9. After an invitation to a friend''s house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).
Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.
20-30: You are just a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
Happy Holidays to one and all!
Humor of the day
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.