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Randomize humor

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston.
One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.

The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I''ll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," said the Soldier, "I''ll get it for you."

While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier''s shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I''ll have one too."

Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier''s other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.

"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

Humor of the day

181.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

182.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

183.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave at her.

184.
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.

185.
Q: How do you check a blonde''s IQ?
A: With a tire gauge.

186.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.

187.
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"

188.
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don''t have to worry about blowing their brains out.

189.
Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ?
A1: So they don''t shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don''t moo.

190.
Q: Why aren''t BLONDES good cattle herders?
A: Because the can''t even keep two calves together!

191.
Q: Why don''t blonds breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.

192.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

193.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

194.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

195.
Q: What''s a blonds'' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

196.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde''s eyes?
A: The back of her head.

197.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW''s
A: Because they can''t spell PORSCHE!!

198.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !

199.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.

200.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they''re on the train they can tell if they''re going to work or coming home.