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Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament.
Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to
admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.
Jimmy Carter
---------------------
Dear Bill:
OK, so I''ll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe!
Gary Hart
----------------------
My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that
charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit
that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.
Hugh Grant
----------------------
Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us up!
Mayor Marion Berry
----------------------
Dear Bill:
Look at the bright side. At least you weren''t caught wearing Monica''s
thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I''m back on
TV for the fall.
Marv Albert
----------------------
Dear Mr. President:
You may have noticed that I''m not jumping on the impeachment bandwagon
(note: this was written a week ago). Let me assure you, you''re not the
only one in Congress who thinks oral sex isn''t really sex.
Warm personal regards,
Newt
----------------------------
Dear Bill:
Hang in there, pal! By the way, Kathie Lee sends Hillary her regards
and invites her to come on her show anytime.
Frank Gifford
---------------------------
Dear Mr. President:
Now I''m on the Supreme Court. I''m here for life! And there''s nothing
anyone can do about it! So there!
Justice Clarence (Long Dong) Thomas
--------------------------
Dear Former Worthy Opponent:
Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have gotten himself
into this mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before Viagra, anyway!
Bob Dole
-------------------------
Dear Mr. President:
I think it''s terrible what they are doing to you, and I want you to know that if you need to get away from it all, you''re welcome to
bring Buddy and stay with me on my Wonderland Ranch for as long as you
want. I''ll move the Cub Scout Pack to a tent on the lawn and you can
have their room.
Michael Jackson
--------------------------
Dear Fellow Sinner:
Jesus forgives you and so do I.
Rev. Jimmy Swaggart
-------------------------
Dear Bill:
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Jim Baker
P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with you sometime.
-------------------------
Dear Bill:
Next time (if there is a next time), don''t let them get you on tape. Big mistake!!
With sympathy,
Rob Lowe
-------------------------
Dear Bill:
If I survived wanting to be a tampon, you can survive the cigar bit.
Things were grim for a while, but now it looks like I might actually
manage to marry my darling Camilla, and someday I''ll be King! Funny how life turns out. So keep a stiff upper lip! (And relax everything else, haha! And they say I don''t have a sense of humor)
HRH Charles Windsor, Prince of Wales
------------------------
Dear Mr. President:
We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue.
The editors, Cigar Aficionado magazine
Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: A foursome.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a black leather jacket?
A. A rebel without a clue!
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year''s hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde''s head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a really smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What does a blonde say during a porno?
A: There I am!!
Q: What does the postcard from a blonde''s vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer''s disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.