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Randomize humor

An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man''s talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing.

The director asked the young man his name.
"Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly.
"Well," said the director, "we''ll have to change that."

"Oh," the young man said, "I could never change my name. It''s my heritage."
"Well," said the director, "if you''re not willing to change your name, you''ll never go anywhere in show business."

The young man left the theater dejectedly.

A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street.

"Do you remember me," asked the young man?
"Yes, I do," said the director. "I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to."

"Well, I finally took your advice," the young man said. "I changed my name and I have been quite successful in show business ever since."
"I told you so," the director replied. "And what name did you choose, Mr. van Lesbian?"

"Dick van Dyke."

Humor of the day

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.