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Randomize humor
So your daughter''s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she''s a really good lay.
My tire was thumping...
I thought it was flat...
when I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat... Sorry.
You had your bladder removed
and you''re on the mends...
here''s a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.
You''ve announced that you''re gay,
won''t that be a laugh,
when they find out you''re one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
''Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.
Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don''t fret about it...
She moved in with me.
Your computer is dead...
it was once so alive
Don''t you regret installing
Windows 95?
You totalled your car...
and can''t remember why...
could it have been...
that case of Bud Dry?
Humor of the day
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.