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Randomize humor

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver''s license?
Driver: I don''t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner''s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It''s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That''s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner''s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There''s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That''s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There''s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who''s car is this?
Driver: It''s mine, officer. Here''s the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there''s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there''s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there''s a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don''t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn''t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?

Driver: Yeah, and I''ll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!

Humor of the day

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I''ll sink ?"