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TO : ALL EMPLOYEES
FR : MANAGEMENT
SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through out program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give out employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and out managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don''t have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF EXTRA EMPLOYEE PROGRAMMING (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGHT INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you.
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
Humor of the day
ARTERY--The study of fine paintings.
BARIUM--What you do when CPR fails.
BENIGN--What yoiu are after you be 8.
CAESAREAN SECTION--A district in Rome.
COLIC--A sheep dog.
COMA--A punctuation mark.
CONGENITAL--Friendly.
DILATE--To live longer.
FESTER--Quicker.
G.I. SERIES--Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
GRIPPE--A suitcase.
HANGNAIL--A coat hook.
MEDICAL STAFF--A Doctor''s cane.
MINOR OPERATION--Coal digging.
MORBID--A higher offer.
NODE--Was aware of.
ORGANIC--Church musician.
OUTPATIENT--A person who has fainted.
POST-OPERATIVE--A letter carrier.
PROTEIN--In favor of young people.
SECRETION--Hiding anything.
SEROLOGY--Study of English knighthood.
TABLET--A small table.
TUMOR--An extra pair.
URINE--Opposite of you''re out.
VARICOSE VEINS--Veins which are very close together.