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Randomize humor

While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Smith looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just caught fire!"

Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine caught fire on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn''t maintain order.

Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft.

There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached one of the packages to their backs. "Say," an alert passenger spoke up, "aren''t those parachutes?"

The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?"

"There isn''t," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We''re going to get help."

Humor of the day

ARTERY--The study of fine paintings.
BARIUM--What you do when CPR fails.
BENIGN--What yoiu are after you be 8.
CAESAREAN SECTION--A district in Rome.
COLIC--A sheep dog.
COMA--A punctuation mark.
CONGENITAL--Friendly.
DILATE--To live longer.
FESTER--Quicker.
G.I. SERIES--Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
GRIPPE--A suitcase.
HANGNAIL--A coat hook.
MEDICAL STAFF--A Doctor''s cane.
MINOR OPERATION--Coal digging.
MORBID--A higher offer.
NODE--Was aware of.
ORGANIC--Church musician.
OUTPATIENT--A person who has fainted.
POST-OPERATIVE--A letter carrier.
PROTEIN--In favor of young people.
SECRETION--Hiding anything.
SEROLOGY--Study of English knighthood.
TABLET--A small table.
TUMOR--An extra pair.
URINE--Opposite of you''re out.
VARICOSE VEINS--Veins which are very close together.