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    miniaturka strony http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/ut_symb.htm   » Site title: Utah Symbols and Emblems
    » Site description: Complete list and information: State symbols and emblems, including the state flag and the state seal.

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Randomize humor

All the things my mother taught me:

My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you''re going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don''t straighten up, I''m going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that''s why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you''re in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep laughing and I''ll *give* you something to cry out."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM -
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You''ll sit there ''til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
"If I''ve told you once, I''ve told you a million times - don''t exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don''t have wonderful parents like you do!"

Humor of the day

ARTERY--The study of fine paintings.
BARIUM--What you do when CPR fails.
BENIGN--What yoiu are after you be 8.
CAESAREAN SECTION--A district in Rome.
COLIC--A sheep dog.
COMA--A punctuation mark.
CONGENITAL--Friendly.
DILATE--To live longer.
FESTER--Quicker.
G.I. SERIES--Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
GRIPPE--A suitcase.
HANGNAIL--A coat hook.
MEDICAL STAFF--A Doctor''s cane.
MINOR OPERATION--Coal digging.
MORBID--A higher offer.
NODE--Was aware of.
ORGANIC--Church musician.
OUTPATIENT--A person who has fainted.
POST-OPERATIVE--A letter carrier.
PROTEIN--In favor of young people.
SECRETION--Hiding anything.
SEROLOGY--Study of English knighthood.
TABLET--A small table.
TUMOR--An extra pair.
URINE--Opposite of you''re out.
VARICOSE VEINS--Veins which are very close together.