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Randomize humor

Ebonics Version of Windows ''98 Debuts!

Microsoft has announced that its special Ebonics version of Windows 98, titled "It be a fresh Window." It has been leaked to several suburbs, causing confusion for unsuspecting users.

There are numerous differences between Windows 98 and the Ebonics version.

When opening the Ebonics version, the familiar windows chime is replaced With a "phat getto track that melts ''em down wit dope-ass bass," The opening screen features a Windows logo that is spray painted on a brick wall - along with several gangsta signs, slogans and shout outs.

On the main screen, My Computer is replaced with "Dis My Shit."

The Recycle Bin has been replaced with a Goodwill dumpster.

If users are logged on to a network, the Network Neighborhood is replaced With "Da Hood."

Users have their choice of two animated screen savers: "Marquee," a lil'' G spray- painting dirty words that move across the screen; or "Flying Bullets," a ''64 Olds'' loaded with gangstas doing a desktop drive by.

Users of the Ebonics version will notice several command and dialogue box changes:

1. Break Back In = Re-entry
2. Aww Shit = Error
3. U Betta Recognize = Delete
4. Itz All Good = OK
5. 4 Real Doe =Yes
6. Hold Up, Dawg = Cancel
7. Do Dat Shit Again = Reset
8. R U Crazy = Are You Sure
9. Hunt Dat Bitch Down = Find
10. Put A Cap In It = Delete
11. Games & Shit = Programs
12. Letter Shit = Documents

The Ebonics version comes standard with a special edition of Microsoft Works titled "Homie Essentials."

The word processing program greatly differs from the main-stream program. Several words on the title bar have been changed:

1. Dat Thang = File
2. I Be Seein'' It = View
3. Put Sumpin In = Insert
4. Hook It Up = Format
5. Stuff I Ain''t gone Need =Tools
6. Number Shit = Table
7. Break In = Window
8. What Da F*C@*K@? = Help

Note: "Stuff I ain''t gone need" (Tools) does not include spelling or grammar check options, and Auto Correct has been replaced with "Keepin'' it Real."

Humor of the day

A Blonde was down on her luck.
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I''ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying,
"I''ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde".

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid''s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said,
"How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"