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Randomize humor
10 year old Johnny''s mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.
Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn''t made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.
He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn''t see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother''s room and stops dead in his tracks, ''cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh,I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."
Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.
Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn''t see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma''s door and there once again was his Mother, laying stark naked on the bed, Rubbing herself all over and repeating " Oh, I need a man. Ohhh,I need a man." Once again he backs out quietly.
Well, this time it took little Johnny a bit longer to muster up the nerve to demand his bike, but he finally does and rushes downstairs, No Momma, so he rushes upstairs, throws Momma''s door open and there to his amazement was his Momma, lying stark naked on her bed, but this time she had a man on top of her.
Johnny backs out of the room, walks quietly down the hall to his room and sits on his bed. He thinks about what he has just witnessed for a while and then, just like a bolt of lightning had struck, Johnny jumps up and screams " I GOT IT !!!!!!"
JOHNNY PEELS ALL OF HIS CLOTHES OFF, LIES STARK NAKED ON HIS BED AND STARTS TO RUB ALL OVER HIMSELF REPEATING " OH, I NEED A BIKE, OOOOHHHHHHHH I NEED A BIKE"
Humor of the day
A Blonde was down on her luck.
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I''ve kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying,
"I''ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde".
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid''s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said,
"How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"