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» Site title: The Almanac News » Site description: A source for local news for citizens of Palo Alto and Mountain View communities.
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» Site title: Almanac Online » Site description: Companion to National Public Broadcasting's award-winning radio and television programs: art, music, history, and current events.
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» Site title: CNN Daily Almanac » Site description: Provides daily briefs of historical events, previews of currently developing stories, and links to related sites.
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» Site title: Community Almanac » Site description: Online version of America-wide almanac for small urban communities.
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» Site title: Computer Almanac » Site description: Collection of numbers relevant to computers, along with references
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» Site title: Computer Industry Almanac » Site description: An annual reference guide to the computer industry. Thousands of links.
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» Site title: Gary Price Fast Facts » Site description: Compilation of quick reference resources, including almanacs, statistics, and fact books.
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» Site title: Her Majesty's Nautical Almanac Office » Site description: Produces the Astronomical Almanac, the Nautical Almanac, Astronomical Phenomena, the Star Almanac and the UK Air Almanac.
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» Site title: The Moron's Almanac » Site description: Humorous take on almanacs. Compares two unrelated events on their anniversary.
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» Site title: The World Almanac » Site description: Features online ordering of the print edition, today in history, and today's birthdays.
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Randomize humor
* Lerman''s Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.
* Murphy''s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.
* Kauffman''s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
* Miller''s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you''ll want to be doing something else.
* Weiner''s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.
* Isaac''s Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
* Kenny''s Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
* Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person''s name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.
* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to
eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the
bottom of the grocery bag.
* Yeager''s Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber''s day off.
* Lampner''s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
* Quile''s Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.
* Loftus'' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don''t know who wrote the book or even which book it is.
* Lovka''s Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.
Humor of the day
December 26, 1999
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I''m writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter.
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.
I''m not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.
What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle, and a pair of socks? What the fuck were you thinking you fat son of a bitch?!
That you have taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn''t fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can''t even walk into his house.
Don''t let me see you trying to fit your big ass down my chimney next year. I''ll fuck you up. I''ll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you''ll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn''t get me that fucking bike.
FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you''ll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH!
Sincerely,
Little Johnny