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Randomize humor
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.
Among them were:
His obnoxious brother.............................. Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt..................................... Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes..........................Gotta Gogh
The constipated uncle.............................. Cant Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store.......Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia.....................U Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white..........Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois............................Chica Gogh
His magician uncle..................................Wherediddy Gogh
His Italian uncle.......................................Day Gogh
His Mexican cousin..................................Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin''s American half brother..........Grin Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach................. Wellsfar Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt...........................Tan Gogh
A sister who loved disco............................Go Gogh
The bird lover uncle................................Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst............................E Gogh
The fruit loving cousin.............................Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking................Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew............................Poe Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van......Winnie Bay Gogh
Humor of the day
December 26, 1999
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I''m writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter.
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.
I''m not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.
What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle, and a pair of socks? What the fuck were you thinking you fat son of a bitch?!
That you have taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn''t fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can''t even walk into his house.
Don''t let me see you trying to fit your big ass down my chimney next year. I''ll fuck you up. I''ll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you''ll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn''t get me that fucking bike.
FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you''ll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH!
Sincerely,
Little Johnny