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Randomize humor
A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she sid ''Kevin''. ''Right'', he said, ''what about that blond one over there?'' ''Kevin'', she said. ''Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?'' ''Kevin'', she said.
''Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?'' ''Kevin'', she said. ''Are all your boys called Kevin?'' he asked, ''isn''t that terribly complicated?''
''Not at all'', she said, ''it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Kevin, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Kevin, it''s time for bed!, they all go to bed.''
''I see. But what if you want only one of them?''
''No problem.'' she answers. ''Then I call them by their surnames.''
Humor of the day
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do.
The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.
Two days before Christmas, Johnny''s dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning.
Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin'' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin'' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face.
His dad smiled and asked...
"So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Johnny replied, "I think I got a fuckin'' dog but I can''t find the son of a bitch."