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Dear Maevis,
I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day.
Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see John.
Then Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn''t like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day I''m really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!
The preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age, I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the den, in the bedroom, in the kitchen or in the garage, I ask myself, "What am I here after?"
Well, I guess growing old is not so bad since old folks are worth a fortune with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs!
Your good ole friend,
Ethel
Humor of the day
Q: What is every blonde''s ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I''m "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I''m drunk!"
Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!
Q: Why can''t blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don''t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A2: So that when they''re on the train they can tell if they''re going to work or coming home.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that''s where you''re supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby''s diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.