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Top Sites » Kids_and_Teens » People_and_Society » Volunteering_and_Service » Guides »
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» Site title: Charity Guide [ Kids/Teens/Mature Teens ] - Directory of flexible volunteer opportunities and service learning ideas that can be implemented quickly, while on vacation, or over time.
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» Site title: The Online Volunteer Guide [ Teens/Mature Teens ] - A guide to volunteering, that helps you find organizations and gives you tips on being a good volunteer.
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Randomize humor
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver''s license?
Driver: I don''t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner''s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It''s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That''s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner''s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There''s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That''s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There''s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who''s car is this?
Driver: It''s mine, officer. Here''s the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there''s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there''s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there''s a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don''t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn''t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?
Driver: Yeah, and I''ll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!
Humor of the day
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do.
The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.
Two days before Christmas, Johnny''s dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning.
Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin'' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin'' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face.
His dad smiled and asked...
"So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Johnny replied, "I think I got a fuckin'' dog but I can''t find the son of a bitch."