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» Site title: Toybox Oyunları [ Çocuklar/Ergin Gençler ] - Kendi üyeliğinizle oyun oynama imkanı. Eğitici ve eğlenceli oyun sitesi.
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Randomize humor
''Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we''d built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I''m speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn''t sound right.
Whoa S**thead, whoa A**hole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I''ll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don''t hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, ''cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jockeys, to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, and I''ll just stay awhile"
He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa''s next find,
And six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several more things I shouldn''t even mention.
A f**k ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.
"This stuff ain''t for kids, Mrs. Santa will s**t,
Do I''ll leave ''em here, and then I''ll just split."
He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch,
Saying, "Take me home, Rudolf. This night''s been a bitch!"
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about pussy is you can''t wear it out!!"
Humor of the day
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do.
The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.
Two days before Christmas, Johnny''s dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning.
Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin'' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin'' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face.
His dad smiled and asked...
"So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Johnny replied, "I think I got a fuckin'' dog but I can''t find the son of a bitch."