Do You Know?
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Randomize humor
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she couldn''t fit in a satellite photo.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she''s on both sides of the family.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington''s nose
- Yo Mama''s so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes
- Yo Mama''s so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she goes to the beach, kids shout: "Free Willy! free Willy!"
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she''s got her own zip code
- Yo Mama''s so fat, people jog around her for exercise
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
- Yo Mama''s so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "One at a time, please."
- Yo Mama''s so fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people run to her and yell "Taxi!"
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when she tripped on 10th St., she landed on 22nd St..
- Yo Mama''s so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, if she was a superhero, she would be "incredible bulk."
- Yo Mama''s so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she stepped on rainbow and made Skittles
- Yo Mama''s so fat, I guess we know what''s eating Gilbert Grape.
- Yo mama''s so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
- Yo mama''s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said "GET THE HELL OFF!!"
- Yo mama''s so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds
- Yo mama''s so fat, she stepped on my cat''s tail, now I call him "Beaver".
- Yo mama''s so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she''s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
- Yo mama''s so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
- Yo mama''s so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost.
- Yo mama''s so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002''s.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she''s got more rolls than a bakery.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she could sell shade.
- Yo mama''s so fat, that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don''t get wet.
- Yo mama''s so fat, she bumps into people when she''s sitting down.
- Yo mama''s so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, her butt has it''s own congressmen.
- Yo Mama''s so fat, she needs a boomerang to wear a belt.
Humor of the day
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do.
The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.
Two days before Christmas, Johnny''s dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning.
Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin'' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin'' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face.
His dad smiled and asked...
"So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Johnny replied, "I think I got a fuckin'' dog but I can''t find the son of a bitch."