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Randomize humor
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky, you cow!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you witch!"
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot''s approach. "I''ve asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now or I''ll kick your ass!"
Suddenly, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says...
"For someone who can''t fly, you sure are a ballsy bastard!"
Humor of the day
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct
her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics,
and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in.
"I''m doing great! I love it!
The view is so beautiful, and I''m starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly.
The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to
worry that she hadn''t radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a
mile away.
He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said,
"I don''t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was
starting to get cold.
I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"