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Randomize humor
The Ghost Poo:
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there''s no poo in the bowl.
The Clean poo -
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres no poo on the toilet paper.
The Wet Poo-
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don''t ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Wet Cheeks Poo-
That''s the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Second Wave Poo-
This poo happens when you think you''ve finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.
The Brain Haemorrhage-through-your-nose Poo-
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The Lincoln Log Log-
The kind of poo that''s so enormous you''re afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The Power Dump Poo-
The kind that comes out so fast, you''ve barely got your pants down and you''re done.
The Liquid Plumber Poo-
This kind of poo is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poo.
The Spinal Tap Poo-
The kind of poo that hurts so much coming out, you''d swear it''s got to be coming out sideways.
The ''I-think-I''m-turning-into-a-bunny'' Poo-
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splishy sounds when they hit the water.
The ''What-the-hell-died-in-here'' Poo-
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don''t warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out a-gagging and a-gasping for air.
The ''I-just-know-there''s-a-turd-still-dangling-there'' Poo-
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop.
Humor of the day
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON''T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn''t wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can''t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn''t get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.