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See also:

    miniaturka strony http://www.angelfire.com/mo/everybody/   » Site title: Anti Backstreet Boys
    » Site description: Includes altered lyrics and pictures, biographies, top-ten lists, jokes, rumors, and poll.

    miniaturka strony http://www.geocities.com/antikristinwillits/   » Site title: Anti Kristin Willits
    » Site description: Includes pictures and reasons not to like her.

    miniaturka strony http://www.geocities.com/destroy_bsb/   » Site title: Destroy BSB
    » Site description: Includes humor, message board, and pictures.

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Randomize humor

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You''ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I''m the only one talking to you.

7. I''m a bird watcher and I''m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I''m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I''ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I''m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I''d really like to see how you look when I''m naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I''ve got a stiffy.

17. I''d walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it''s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It''s not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I''d have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

2 2. F@# me if I''m wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you''ll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I''m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I''M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn''t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don''t you like pizza?

33. Baby, I''m an American Express lover...you shouldn''t go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let''s get you out of these wet clothes.

Humor of the day

December 26, 1999

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I''m writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter.

I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.

I''m not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.

What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle, and a pair of socks? What the fuck were you thinking you fat son of a bitch?!

That you have taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn''t fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can''t even walk into his house.

Don''t let me see you trying to fit your big ass down my chimney next year. I''ll fuck you up. I''ll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you''ll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn''t get me that fucking bike.

FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you''ll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH!

Sincerely,
Little Johnny